Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Jhonka is insulted by the new turkey leg. "What? You think old leg bad? Me think you tell Jhonka old leg is bad. It more bad than person that give Jhonka this pile of thing called riches. Riches is funny word. You want? Take." Then he gives you the riches on the condition that you keep the new turkey leg you gave him and promise to never give him another new turkey leg.


Command: Surely you're joking.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

No, I assure you I am not. SERIOUS'D!!

Type: Throw riches in well.

_________________

Money go down the hole...


Command: Use AOL cd's

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Your compy explodes


C: Eat Interruptor Jones

_________________

IJ bans you. Great, you Ban'd, you moron.

Lay supressive fire until the snipers are in position.

_________________

The snipers get into position before you can accomplish your task, and even MORE unfortunately, their position is "acrobatically assembled atop a ski in a water show." Which you are forced to watch. At gunpoint. Nice going, Ester Williams.

Command: Summon the hunky pool boys on the double, please, and don't spare the mustard!

_________________

OMG MY WEBSITE IS YOUR MOMMA!

I got here as fast as I could... It's hard to run in hot pants.


Command: Take Trogdor to Arby's

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Troggy has about a hundred RB sammiches. You = Very Broke!

Type: Pour Snake Oil on Old Man

_________________

Old Man shouts "Good for what ails ya!" Then tries to do a cartwheel and breaks his hip. Guess you shoulda checked the expiration date.

Command: Pawn lawnmower

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You take a stick of TNT and blow it sky-high! Lawnmower = Very Pwn'D!! Oh, wait. You said PAWN. Oops! Guess that's what you get for playing with TNT!

Type: Give Cinnamon Rolls of Yummy +3 to Kerrek.

_________________

Kerrek loves Cinamon Rolls... To show his appreciation, he dawns a dress and holds up a sign that says "I like Cinamon Rolls"

Mega Jibbly!

Command: Quack like a cow.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Fantastic, now the game is stuffed, great job.

Command: Use the power of heart

_________________
Guten tag, Johann, du riechst ganz richtig. Danke schon, Heidi. Und du auch. - A Bit of Fry and Laurie

You would, but eating all that cholesterol, saturated fat, and salt all your life, your heart really doesn't have much power left. CORONARY'D!!

Type: Freeze Butt Off.

_________________

You sit in the freezer. Your butt is gone. Great, now you can't sit down, and your jeans fit like crap. Way to go.

Command: Rescue Strong Mad from Rottenegglund

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You mount a rescue mission. You get all the equipment, including O2 tanks and masks. You manage to get Strong Mad out, but now you smell like rotten eggs, and the lady types don't want anything to do with you. NO LADY TYPES FOR YOU'D!!

Type: Burle Holiday Cabbage

_________________

Eh! Steve steals it, and the wheel chair flies through your house, chasing him, and wrecks up the place.

Command: Use Rick and Bubba on Troggy

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You got no Ricks, you're outta Bubbas at the moment, and Troggy's not in line of sight.

Command: Del C:\

Doesn't do anything. Try Format C:\. That'll do the job.

Type: Put shiny round thing in coffee cup holder.

_________________

Colin Mochrie is none too pleased at your putting his head in a cup holder. He slaps you with his dueling gloves, challenging you to a duel. You duel. You die. You dead. That'll teach you to pick on bald improv-types.

Command: Gimmie your lunch money, dweeb, or I'll lash you soundly.

_________________

OMG MY WEBSITE IS YOUR MOMMA!

It was a nickel. POOR'D!!

Walk through snow 8 miles uphill both ways with no shoes on and like it!

_________________

Well, the up-part was a bit tough, but the down-part was fun! Weeee!

Eat your words untill your stomach is square.

You mean the words that come out of you when Batman hits you? Like "Sock!", "POW!", "BIFF!", and the like? Well, anyway, Batman beats the crap out of you, and the words don't taste that good anyway. You puke your pants.

Type: Use dolphin on Old Man.

_________________

The old man rides the dolphins. Then the dolphins see fish and dive down low. DROWN'D!

Rent a DVD!

_________________

It was Pearl Harbor. BORED OUT OF YOUR FREAKING SKULL'D UNTIL NEAR THE VERY END'D!!

Type: Learn Old Man not to give you any guff.

_________________

You firmly state, for the record, "Don't give me any guff ... UNCLE DIDYMUS." After which Uncle Didymus comes out and does an Old Man Dance. Like the hustle or something. And you dance too. And unlike Uncle Didymus, you look really stupid, you dancing fool. So there.

Command: Serenade me from below the balcony, Minstrel McDashing!

_________________

OMG MY WEBSITE IS YOUR MOMMA!

I can't. I'm too busy doing my "Old Man Dance!" Because apparently I'm an Old Man now!

Get back to work on my cartoon.

_________________

For being a Grumbly Mumbly McRushing-You-Guy, you are tossed into a giant vat full of popular cartoon characters, where you are immediately set upon by Garfield. He takes away all your lasagna. Because that's what Garfield does. He steals lasagna and eats it. And he's a cat. Hilarious.

(Now, unc, you KNOW that, reasonably speaking, you're an old man! Of the sea, like! But that certainly doesn't mean you can't dance, OR be saucily teased about it by the likes of me! Nyo ho ho!)

Command: Bring that cheap minstrel back here and make him sing me a tune, already!

_________________

OMG MY WEBSITE IS YOUR MOMMA!

"He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!"

(if that's not good enough, I could always try to compose a new jam in Fruity Loops).

Use Magic Ring of AAAARRRRGGGGBLBLBL!! to steal Trogdor's secret treasure.

_________________

Trogdor sees you anyway.BURNINATED!You be's dead.

You decide to go on tour with Limozeen.

_________________

I'm going to assume that last statement was supposed to be a command. You become a roady for Limozeen! But then they get launched into space, and you get replaced by a robot on Freakazon 6.

Use Morena Baccarin pic on Old Man (NOT DIDYMUS, QC!)

_________________