Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

CANNONBALL'D!
I mean, CANNIBAL'D!
You can't eat the old man. You have no fava beans.. And you drank the last of the Chianti last weekend.

Command: Launch Spiders

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The spiders fly through the air toward Trogdor's mountain. They attack in unison, moving strategically toward his lair. Despite burninating a large number of them, they still manage to tie him up and poison him. They eat him and leave a skin hanging in the tree.

On the plus side, you defeat Trogdor. On the negative side, however, now Peasantry is infested with spiders.

Type: Give Orchid +2 to Queenie C.

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Queenie love the orchid. She almost gives you a hug, but, since you've already completed the "smell like a peasant" part of your quest she decides not to.

Command: Use +3 exploding corndog of justice on mountain

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The corndog asplode, scattering corn and mysterious meat by-products all over the side of the mountain. It disturbs Trogdor, who was watching a Packers game at the time, and he comes out of his cave wearing a giant cheese on his head and a freaking huge styrofoam "We're #1" finger on his beefy arm. He picks you up, takes you back inside, and eats you with cheese sauce while watching the rest of the game. NACHO'D!!

Type: Use Laser Sharks on Old Man.

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I kill old man, but if see him dieing you start to cry.


Command: Move dead body

Erm... Isn't old man supposed to be Didymus?

You see no dead bodies. Then you see a lightbulb floating above your face. It disappears and you do a really cheesy smile. You buy a gun and commit suicide. Then you come back as a ghost, but you can't move your body because your hands go right through it.
Grood jorb, you just ruined your life.

Command: Say Qwertyuiopasd really-really fast 20 times.

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Actually, screw this. I'm out.

You do, and the Demon Lord Qwertyuiopasd shows up and eats your soul. SOUL EAT'D!!

And just for that "old man" remark.

Type: Use FCOT+3 on Obomaru's noggin!

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You hit Obomaru with the FCOT +3 and knock him out for a minute Then he gets up and chases you around like in those old Benny Hill shows. HILL'd!

Make a sign pic for the knight.

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You make a sign that says, "I'll be your damsel!" Then you put on your blue dress again and post the pic on the forum. The knight gets a severe case of Jibbyitus and dies of a heart attack.

Type: Encourage Teen Guy Squad (Tef, Ace, etc.) to flirt with younger cute girls (BUT NOT FUNKY! He doesn't need ANY more encouragement).

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They come on to some girls.Unfortunately they're all Katies. pummels them.

Give a pizza trophy.

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The throphy says: "Ugliest animal ever." The Cheat becomes furious and bites your leg off.

Equip Homsar hat.

Now you're the Captain of the Gravy Train! PSHOOOOO! You shanked my Jenga Jam! DAaAaAaAaAaAaAa! I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of real estate!

Type: Filch Queenie's Rocking Chair (again)

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You steal her rocking chair. It isn't long til she comes after you and pounds you into the ground with her +5000 clobberin' stick of DOOM!
YOU DEAD!

Command: Break bottle over Trogdor's head

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Trogdor slaps his face with his Beefy Arm and says, "Dang Skeeters!" I'll wait until you make your next move before going, "BURNINATED'D!!"

Type: Filch Queenie's chair and frame SR.

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There's no way she would believe that "Old Guy" would steal her chair. She's the butt-kicker of the duo, after all. She throws SR at you, and he hits you with some sort of brick shaped object.

Command: Cut the cord off Didymus' blender

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

What the crap is wrong with my freaking blender?

Type: Throw broken blender at SR's noggin.

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It just bounces off with a loud, hollow-sounding clonk.
He picks it up, hands it back to you and says "You dropped this".

Command: set chicken feed on fire

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Oh, great. You've destroyed the chicken population's food supply. Now all the chickens starve to death, and the Colonel has nothing to cook, so Peasantry starves to death as well. Which includes you. And if that weren't enough, Green Peace is after you for causing the extinction of the species, poultrius Peasantrius.

Type: Talk like THE STURRRRRGE! to Jhonka.

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Jhonka pulls up a chair and starts telling you about his new album, and the joys of touring, etc.
Then, he realizes he's not on the radio and that you're making fun of him. He and Kerrek play "rip the peasant into little pieces". It's as painful as it sounds.


Command: torpedo old man's boat

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You shanked his jengaship! Just four more ships to go. You get a red peg.

> use red peg on Trodgor

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You use the red peg on Trogdor. He gets ticketd and destoy's one of the old mans ships. Then he takes out a cottage.

Coomand:Throw The Old Man overboard already.

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Slow down! You still have three more ships left.


Command: Cuss like a sailor.

A sailor appears and gives you the royal beatdown for perpetuating such negative stereotypes. He also calls you a @($&!% %(&!)%&#( *%(#(#%_##, but you're sure that's just a coincidence.


>old man, catch swordfish

Old man catches a sword fish. Big whoop. He catches those more often than you'd think.

Command: Find the picture of Trogdor, taken when he was in fifth grade and had braces

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Here it is, along with a few other teenage awkwardnesses he endured before becoming the majestic burninator we know and love today.


Type: Give platform shoes to InterruptorJones.

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With his bell bottoms, afro wig, and a loop of Stayin' Alive, Jonesy is MEGA-Pimpin'!

Command: Use Acme Bazooka Launcher on burninated cottage.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

What for? It's already been burninated! I mean, how much more destroyed do you want your cottage to be? Maybe you should beam your butt aboard the USS Enterprise and set phasers on "Mega Nuclear Fry" or something! SHEESH!

Type: Beam butt aboard the USS Enterprise and set phasers on "Mega Nuclear Fry."

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You do that... Now, all there is left to do is fire the phasors

Command: phire fasors

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Oh no! You were the guy that wore the red shirt! Your phaser goes off in your hand. The nuclear radiation mutates you into a prickley, hairy creature that features a proboscis.

Type: Smack around Kurt, or Kurk whatever that guys name is.

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Take that, Kirky boy! No longer shall you be the bane of karaoke night!

>promote Spock to captain