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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:12 am 
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I'm from Arkansas


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:14 am 
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DS_Kid wrote:
Hi Guys wrote:
There were these two fellars standin' on a bridge, a-goin' to the bathroom. One fellar said, "The water's cold" and the other fellar said, "The water's deep". I believe one fella come from Arkansas. Get it?



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You're awesome. As a reward, I'll be your slave.


I'm sure this won't lead to wacky situations with homosexual overtones!

Nope!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:18 am 
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That Arkansas one was another Black joke wasn't it. I really don't get these ones.

Might be due to the fact that there aren't many black people around here, and the ones that are mostly immigrated from Africa in recent years.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:29 am 
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Also you guys kinda outbred all the half-caste Aboriginees into whites working on the rabbit-proof fence.

If Aboriginees can even be considered Black in the first place, but whatever.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:36 am 
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Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:39 am 
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VEGEMITE!?


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:40 am 
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Oh of course, that too.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:48 am 
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I wasn't trying to stereotype Australians or anything.

I'm just saying that that's a major event in Australian history and that that plays in as a factor in what you were talking about.

Jesus the Jew.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:01 am 
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Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:02 am 
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Biscuithead wrote:
That Arkansas one was another Black joke wasn't it. I really don't get these ones.

Might be due to the fact that there aren't many black people around here, and the ones that are mostly immigrated from Africa in recent years.


No, it was a reference to "Slingblade".

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:03 am 
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Jitka wrote:
Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

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THIS is a knife

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:03 am 
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Einoo T. Spork wrote:
Jitka wrote:
Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

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THIS is a knife


good job son

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:12 am 
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I was looking for a proper image from that Simpsons episode, but the internet has failed me.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:38 am 
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What looks like half a chicken?

That joke wrote:
The other half.


What's the difference between a coyote and a flea?

That joke wrote:
One howls on the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:11 am 
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Einoo T. Spork wrote:
Jitka wrote:
Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

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THIS is a knife
I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:23 am 
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TheHumanScreenshot wrote:
What looks like half a chicken?

That joke wrote:
The other half.


Actually, that is incorrect. That punchline would imply that a chicken would have a head or a tail at each end of its body, which is not possible.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:26 am 
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Setup to well-known racist joke. Non-racist, more realistic punchline replacing original racist punchline.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:27 am 
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iand93 wrote:
I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

Reminds me of that episode of Ed, Edd, n' Eddy where Ed asks Jimmy if he's ever played Splish Splash in a Bath. Oh god, I gotta go watch that now...

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:00 am 
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Location: The island. Where and when that is I cannot say...
So this tourist from the Czech Republic comes to New York City. As he's sight-seeing one day, he decides to check out Central Park Zoo. The sign outside advertises their special exhibit of the month: a pair of Siberian tigers, a male and a female, on loan from San Diego. The tourist is really excited - he's been to zoos back home, but none of them ever had a tiger in it, let alone two. So he goes up to the tiger exhibit and starts taking pictures. He leans in really close over the bar, and just then someones bumps past him. He loses his balance and falls into the tiger habitat. Immediately one of the tigers jumps at him and claws at his throat, killing him. Of course by now there's widespread panic, people calling the police, ambulances, the zookeepers are going crazy, etc. The tiger manages to eat most of the tourist by the time everyone gets settled down. The zoo is immediately closed so things can get cleaned up. The mortician asks the zookeepers, "which one of your tigers ate the guy?" But the keepers can't tell just from looking at them, so they decide to give them X-rays to see which one has bones and clothing bits in its stomach. They put the female tiger on the X-ray machine first, and they find no traces of human remains inside her. So the X-ray technician turns to the mortician and says,
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."



AbuGrape45 wrote:
TheHumanScreenshot wrote:
What looks like half a chicken?

That joke wrote:
The other half.


Actually, that is incorrect. That punchline would imply that a chicken would have a head or a tail at each end of its body, which is not possible.


Cut the chicken lengthwise.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:24 pm 
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Dark Grapefruit wrote:
So this tourist from the Czech Republic comes to New York City. As he's sight-seeing one day, he decides to check out Central Park Zoo. The sign outside advertises their special exhibit of the month: a pair of Siberian tigers, a male and a female, on loan from San Diego. The tourist is really excited - he's been to zoos back home, but none of them ever had a tiger in it, let alone two. So he goes up to the tiger exhibit and starts taking pictures. He leans in really close over the bar, and just then someones bumps past him. He loses his balance and falls into the tiger habitat. Immediately one of the tigers jumps at him and claws at his throat, killing him. Of course by now there's widespread panic, people calling the police, ambulances, the zookeepers are going crazy, etc. The tiger manages to eat most of the tourist by the time everyone gets settled down. The zoo is immediately closed so things can get cleaned up. The mortician asks the zookeepers, "which one of your tigers ate the guy?" But the keepers can't tell just from looking at them, so they decide to give them X-rays to see which one has bones and clothing bits in its stomach. They put the female tiger on the X-ray machine first, and they find no traces of human remains inside her. So the X-ray technician turns to the mortician and says,
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."

Image

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:50 pm 
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I don't get it.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:52 pm 
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HHFOV wrote:
I don't get it.

Quote:
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."

sounds like "The check is in the mail."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:36 pm 
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gino wrote:
HHFOV wrote:
I don't get it.

Quote:
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."

sounds like "The check is in the mail."

And that still doesn't make sense....

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:15 pm 
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It's just a pun.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:17 pm 
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Acekirby wrote:
It's just a pun.

It was a very long set up for a very bad pun. Therefore it's one of those "painful" jokes.

Yes, writhe all of you. Writhe.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:43 pm 
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:46 pm 
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Stinko girl 20x6 wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

... I'm SO forwarding this joke to my family.
Thank you.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:06 am 
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Stinko girl 20x6 wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
He walks into a bar--okay. Then...?

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:07 am 
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DS_Kid wrote:
Stinko girl 20x6 wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
He walks into a bar--okay. Then...?

Disca, you aren't blonde, you have no excuse. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:11 am 
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How many ramrods does it take to change a lightbulb?

2. One to change the lightbulb, one to run around the forum all fancy prancy and say "look everyone I'm ramrod I'm so great I'm not pathetic at all ooh"


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